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Seeds of Doubt

Just a few random thoughts before I leave for my trip tomorrow (any and all tips are welcome) ...........

I leave tomorrow for San Francisco and I am a mixed bag of emotions.  I am going to a city I've always wanted to visit but never have - YAY!  First off I should be packing and not writing this blog post and I have about two loads of laundry to fold but I have to get this out. 

My Boys.....
I'm going to miss my boys terribly.  It's starting to hit me hard that I'm not going to see them for five days and I'm tearing now as I type this.  I love my boys and will miss their smiles, the I love yous in person, the snuggle time on the couch and the books before bed complete with hugs and kisses.

I will not miss the kids screaming or whining.  Being interrupted five times while I'm trying to eat a meal.  Being interrupted while I try to talk to Chris (DH).  Being interrupted while in the middle of getting dressed because there is a loud thud or bang in the next room.  Being interrupted with a spill or a mess in any room in the house.

The Race......
I'm feeling a little bit apprehensive about the race and I'm not sure why.  I guess I typically put pressure on myself or have a goal to set and achieve.  I guess I feel like I'm setting my goal pretty low when I say to myself: "Just finish".  I must say I will be glad when I am done with this race.  I am excited to participate in it however I'm done with all the training.  I've been training 5 - 6 days a week for many, many weeks.  I'm ready for a break.  I guess what better way to end my running season with Bay to Breakers? - ( I am signed up for the Warrior Dash in June but that's it - I hate exercising in the heat).

My 'diet'......
I hope to eat well while on my trip and I plan on having food with me at all times to avoid being in a situation where I'm starving and then I inhale a calorie intense "insert favorit food here".

I know I should be happy right now but I'm just having moments of doubt.

I will post more on my trip hopefully.  It may just be some random pics of food that I eat on my culinary adventure. 


PS - I lost 2.2lbs last week for the first time in weeks!   78 total pounds lost to date! - now that's something to celebrate!


  1. Congrats Sonya, keep noticing your achievements. And notice where things get hard. A trip is a perfect place to take stock of yourself. Be good to yourself, there is no wrong. Whatever happens is a snapshot of progress, valiance, achievement, and old baggage that you have not yet found out how to release.

    I admire you, even if you don't finish, even if you insert a few favorite foods here. Finding your way on your own path means taking risks and making mistakes. Mistakes are not failures but part of the journey. You will be fine. You ARE fine.


  2. Have a wonderful trip and enjoy living free of interruptions for a few days! I envy you!

  3. Janine - I'm going to be free from interruptions - what a concept! - I seriously can't remember when I last had this much time free time :-)

    Amy you are a very wise and strong person/friend. Your insight is 'spot on'. Thank you for those words. I needed to hear that.

    Many Hugs!


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