Skip to main content

Seeds of Doubt

Just a few random thoughts before I leave for my trip tomorrow (any and all tips are welcome) ...........

I leave tomorrow for San Francisco and I am a mixed bag of emotions.  I am going to a city I've always wanted to visit but never have - YAY!  First off I should be packing and not writing this blog post and I have about two loads of laundry to fold but I have to get this out. 


My Boys.....
I'm going to miss my boys terribly.  It's starting to hit me hard that I'm not going to see them for five days and I'm tearing now as I type this.  I love my boys and will miss their smiles, the I love yous in person, the snuggle time on the couch and the books before bed complete with hugs and kisses.

I will not miss the kids screaming or whining.  Being interrupted five times while I'm trying to eat a meal.  Being interrupted while I try to talk to Chris (DH).  Being interrupted while in the middle of getting dressed because there is a loud thud or bang in the next room.  Being interrupted with a spill or a mess in any room in the house.


The Race......
I'm feeling a little bit apprehensive about the race and I'm not sure why.  I guess I typically put pressure on myself or have a goal to set and achieve.  I guess I feel like I'm setting my goal pretty low when I say to myself: "Just finish".  I must say I will be glad when I am done with this race.  I am excited to participate in it however I'm done with all the training.  I've been training 5 - 6 days a week for many, many weeks.  I'm ready for a break.  I guess what better way to end my running season with Bay to Breakers? - ( I am signed up for the Warrior Dash in June but that's it - I hate exercising in the heat).

My 'diet'......
I hope to eat well while on my trip and I plan on having food with me at all times to avoid being in a situation where I'm starving and then I inhale a calorie intense "insert favorit food here".

I know I should be happy right now but I'm just having moments of doubt.

I will post more on my trip hopefully.  It may just be some random pics of food that I eat on my culinary adventure. 

Cheers!

PS - I lost 2.2lbs last week for the first time in weeks!   78 total pounds lost to date! - now that's something to celebrate!

Comments

  1. Congrats Sonya, keep noticing your achievements. And notice where things get hard. A trip is a perfect place to take stock of yourself. Be good to yourself, there is no wrong. Whatever happens is a snapshot of progress, valiance, achievement, and old baggage that you have not yet found out how to release.

    I admire you, even if you don't finish, even if you insert a few favorite foods here. Finding your way on your own path means taking risks and making mistakes. Mistakes are not failures but part of the journey. You will be fine. You ARE fine.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Have a wonderful trip and enjoy living free of interruptions for a few days! I envy you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Janine - I'm going to be free from interruptions - what a concept! - I seriously can't remember when I last had this much time free time :-)


    Amy you are a very wise and strong person/friend. Your insight is 'spot on'. Thank you for those words. I needed to hear that.

    Many Hugs!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The #MeToo Campaign

Fingers crossed that this trend continues. For the past 10 days, I've been feeling energetic for the first time since? It's been so long I can't remember. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. It feels like I don't have depression anymore. What an amazing feeling that I hope never ends. Its kind of ironic as this time of year gets difficult with the shorter days. I've been using my Verilux lamp in the morning as I have for the last few years so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with why I'm feeling good? I'm feeling better now than I did a year ago. 

Depression doesn't affect me in ways someone might think when it comes to energy. I'm high functioning in that I'm not catatonic. It's just that my energy is limited (occasionally it feels like gravity is turned up or I'm trying to walk through waist-deep snow thankfully not often). A friend once explained to me what it's like to have Lyme disease (unfortunately she has chronic…

Weight Watchers vs. Jillian Michael's

It's been a little over 3 years (January 2010) since I started my weight loss journey. I reached my goal weight in May of 2011 (135 lbs). Since then it's been a yoyo and my trend had been going up over the last several months. My current weight is 150 lbs (I was 155 but lost 5lbs over the last few weeks). My goal is to lose the weight I put back on (20 lbs) plus an additional 5 lbs for a weight loss of 25 lbs in total. It's so hard keeping the weight off!!

The strategy I'm now doing this time is different. I've decided to follow Jillian Michael's weight loss program instead of continuing on with Weight Watchers. I lost the 80lbs on Weight Watchers and the program served me well. It forced me to look at portion size, calories (with old points system), fiber, carbs, fat and protein (with the new points plus system).  It changed the way I looked at food. Instead of processed foods I focused on eating a variety of whole fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains and low …

Trying the 'New' Weight Watchers Program

I've been on the new WW program starting January 11th, 2018 (to date 3/21/2018 I've lost 7 lbs).  Why? Because what do I have to lose besides pounds of course!? My sanity perhaps on what seems like a life long journey. Woops! Too late!

My ultimate goal in life when it comes to health and weight loss is to be able to eat without counting calories or points. That can be very difficult for me. Since starting this blog I have earned a degree in Exercise Science and I now have certifications: ACSM CPT, ACE GFI and I've completed coursework to be a licensed coach in my state. With all my education and personal experience (80 lb weight loss) I would have thought things would be easier by now but they're not. Science has proven that when it comes to weight loss it's calories in vs. calories out. Unfortunately calorie counting doesn't account for all the psychological, sociological and biological reasons why we eat what we eat. I need to try a new approach so I'm g…