Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Fear of Falling!

I have many supportive people in my life and I am truly blessed.  On occasion I do get comments (especially from people who have never been obese or people who are currently obese) about why I'm so 'crazy' about these last few lbs.  Why do I have to continue to write everything/log all my food everyday?  

My Answer:  I will gain weight like you've never seen! 

For anyone who has lost weight it doesn't take but a few bites here and there to pack on a pound.  Now let's just say I replaced one healthy dinner with four pieces of pizza; one snack with two cup cakes and another snack with a hot fudge sundae.  - Going beyond my calorie expenditure for the week (eating more than my body burns in that same time period).  For me that could add up to anywhere from 2 - 4lbs.  And that's with eating and exercising well the rest of the time.  I have to eat fewer calories to maintain my weight than someone who is the same height and weight.  Why?  Because my body thinks I'm trying to starve it (and no I'm not cutting my calories crazy low - I'm being very moderate as I exercise allot and if I don't eat enough I start to feel really tired even with proper sleep).  My body has a very, very, very, very, very long history of eating a certain set amount of calories.  Anything lower than that set amount and my body fat is saying what are you doing????  You aren't going to get rid of me so easily.  You need me for energy and to survive (unfortunately our body doesn't realize there is a grocery store on every corner and we don't need to hunt for our food with spears and do manual labor all day long just to survive on a basic level).

How did I lose the first 75+lbs and why are the last 10 so hard to take off? There are a few reasons.

Mentally the first 75 - 80lbs was something that I could not live with no matter what at all costs.  With only having 10lbs left perhaps it's mentally I feel like I'm 'already there'.  What's 10lbs when I've lost 75 -80? I can take that off anytime!  Now where are those cookies I just baked for the kids? - LOL!!

Perhaps it's the comfort eating that is getting to me?  I use food like a drug.  Anytime I'm upset or stressed about something it's so easy to reach for something to fill that whole (insert mass quantities of cupcakes, doughnuts, chocolate or pizza here).  I guess in a way it's like an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol only food is a requirement for living so it can get kinda tricky.  I remember early on I could say no to cake and pizza in any situation because I couldn't wait to see the minus on the scale.  I need to get back to that way of thinking.  Meeting my goal at all costs.  The will to lose the weight has to be greater than the need to comfort myself with food.  Accountability is key. I must say the previous post was painful for me and I was hoping it would be a minus but I knew that was not a 100%  probability due to a few food indescretions that I didn't account for (tortilla chips, cheese, mixed nuts).  I need to respect the fear that I can fall off the wagon at any moment while at the same time move forward to my goal.  Several days in a row of eating poorly/in excess could undue all my hard work and then the pattern has been set in the wrong direction of eating to excess and too much high fat, calorie, sugar and refined carbohydrates.  Until I weigh in again..........


Ask yourself are you really truly ready to make changes?


Accountability + .2lbs - Ouch!

+ .2lbs what can I say.  At least it's a . and not a full +2 :-) Those 'nibbles' and decreased activity can add up!  Calories in vs. Calories out :-)

PS -

My shoulder is feeling better and now I'm feeling it in my right shoulder????  Today I'm taking the day off from exercise and popping a liquid Advil.

Had my first of 5 exams last night for my nutrition class and I'm starting to work on my research paper.  Not sure how I'm fitting it all in but I'm doing it!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Update and Ouch!

It has been a busy time for me lately.  Right now I'm taking a break from studying to post some updates. (My first exam is tomorrow - It's been 12 years since I've taken a college exam - Yikes!).

I started my Intro to Nutrition Class a couple weeks ago and I love the class so far (I've been reading and studying while on the treadmill or recumbent bike at the gym).  I find it however makes for Monday to be a long day as my class is almost three hours on Monday nights and it starts at 7pm.  To help recharge my batteries for class I've been able to squeeze in a 15minute nap at some point during the day and I have a cup of coffee in the afternoon.  For an energy boost on my way to class I usually drink a protein and fruit smoothie.  To make the smoothie I mix the following in my blender: 1/2 banana, 2/3c fat free Greek yogurt, 1/2c berries (or other fruit), 1/2c unsweetened plain almond milk, PB2, splash of vanilla and a few drops of organic liquid stevia and some ice cubes. It fills a 24oz bottle that fits perfectly in my cars cup holder.  With my portable smoothie I'm able to stay satisfied through class and not be starving when I get home.

When it comes to training for the sprint triathlon I am doing running and cycling but no swimming.  I pulled a shoulder muscle early last week.  The question is how :-)  Was it during the laps of swimming or the kettle bell class?  Or was it during one of my workout sessions of push ups or yoga?   None of the above.  Of all things it was from picking up my 3 year old son.  Go figure!  For those who say parenting isn't hard physical work guess again!  Ouch!  My shoulder is feeling better today with some ibuprofen and some exercises and I'm hoping for a quick recovery so I can get back to my workout routine.  I was able to lift my arm over my head today without being in pain.  YAY!  I can't wait to get back in the pool however I don't want to do too much too soon and set myself back further. Patience is key.

For weight loss I've been back on track to losing the last 10lbs.  I am going to do it this time (geez if I had a nickle for everytime I said that I would be a millionaire by now :-) and will be posting my progress every week (how's that for accountability?). I want to become a WW lifetime member sooner than later!

We'll break time is over and it's time to hit the books!

Cheers and keep moving no matter what!