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173 lbs

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 1.6 lbs.

However I don't feel like celebrating.

I'm having a down day. I tend to be really hard on myself and today I'm not feeling great. I'm feeling hopeless as I go through the motions of keeping my food journal and making appointments to get my back injury figured out.

I went to my primary care doc today and got a prescription for physical therapy. I'm fearing that I'm going to go through the motions of PT and in the end need surgery again.

It feels daunting at best to try to stay in shape and do what I love doing. Running with my friends. For now running isn't in the picture and I have to accept that. Hopefully someday I will be able to participate in a 5 k. Until then I need to find my 'new way' of doing things no matter how difficult. One of the things I've learned in school is the best form of exercise is one that you love. Unfortunately that's not in the cards (running) so the best form of exercise is the one I like the least and that's swimming. There's a lot for me to get through when it comes to swimming. A fear of drowning. It makes no sense as I do know how to swim but it's a fear that I have. After I start PT I'm going to get in touch with a swim instructor to help me overcome that fear by working with me on improving my swim strokes.

Since my post yesterday I have a couple of friends in the same boat so I'm hoping to connect with them once I get through my fear.

No matter how daunting. No matter what.

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