Skip to main content

This Feels Like Forever

This feels like forever as I sit here typing. Forever since I've run. Forever since I've felt strong and confident. Forever since I've fit into my clothes that I purchased after working so hard to lose 80 lbs.

I feel like a hamster running on a wheel and I'm going nowhere.

As the days and weeks go by I am going to PT for my most recent back injury. I have pain down my right leg that's being caused by my sciatic nerve being pinched. I'm in a really negative mood. I miss my 'old life' of running with friends and feeling strong and powerful. Now I feel like the old fat me who is trying to crawl out of this hole in the ground. I want to be who I've worked hard to be. The fit and trim not the overweight Sonya.

Some may say this is sort of a mid life change up. I'll be 42 this year and my goal is to be a personal trainer and group fitness instructor. I want to help people who want to change their life for the better. While I want to do this I feel like I can barely help myself right now. On the upside I'm doing well in my Exercise Physiology class and I find it fascinating and interesting how the body works to create energy for exercise/motion. Understanding the science helps me understand the why. The "why it's so important to eat carbs"; "why it's so important to stay hydrated" and the how. How our body's systems work together for energy output and how foods are processed and stored as fat or used for energy. Another plus is one of my medications has been dropped. This one medication in particular is known for people to gain weight on. I'm hoping my metabolism bounces back.

I'm trying to look forward and tell myself this isn't forever. This is just one day. All I can control is what I do today. I have choices. I just need to make the right ones. I think I'll be passing on the pizza my family is eating tonight and have a salad instead.

Waiting for the day that doesn't feel like forever.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Weight Watchers vs. Jillian Michael's

It's been a little over 3 years (January 2010) since I started my weight loss journey. I reached my goal weight in May of 2011 (135 lbs). Since then it's been a yoyo and my trend had been going up over the last several months. My current weight is 150 lbs (I was 155 but lost 5lbs over the last few weeks). My goal is to lose the weight I put back on (20 lbs) plus an additional 5 lbs for a weight loss of 25 lbs in total. It's so hard keeping the weight off!!

The strategy I'm now doing this time is different. I've decided to follow Jillian Michael's weight loss program instead of continuing on with Weight Watchers. I lost the 80lbs on Weight Watchers and the program served me well. It forced me to look at portion size, calories (with old points system), fiber, carbs, fat and protein (with the new points plus system).  It changed the way I looked at food. Instead of processed foods I focused on eating a variety of whole fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains and low …

Trying the 'New' Weight Watchers Program

I've been on the new WW program starting January 11th, 2018 (to date 3/21/2018 I've lost 7 lbs).  Why? Because what do I have to lose besides pounds of course!? My sanity perhaps on what seems like a life long journey. Woops! Too late!

My ultimate goal in life when it comes to health and weight loss is to be able to eat without counting calories or points. That can be very difficult for me. Since starting this blog I have earned a degree in Exercise Science and I now have certifications: ACSM CPT, ACE GFI and I've completed coursework to be a licensed coach in my state. With all my education and personal experience (80 lb weight loss) I would have thought things would be easier by now but they're not. Science has proven that when it comes to weight loss it's calories in vs. calories out. Unfortunately calorie counting doesn't account for all the psychological, sociological and biological reasons why we eat what we eat. I need to try a new approach so I'm g…

5.27 miles outside!

This morning was 35 degrees, rainy, hilly, and I couldn't have done it without the great group of women I ran with today. 
As I was running I received a few comments on how cut my calves looked.  The first thing that came to mind and I said out loud was: "yes I have big calves".  The response I received was: "I wish I had your cut calves".  It's funny how what we have others want and vice verse (I would prefer smaller less cut calves however they do come in handy on the hills).  It's funny how perceptions can very greatly from one person to the next.
The picture in this post was taken after the run.  I tried to flex for the camera to see what my running partners were talking about.  If I can get a better picture I'll post one later.
Today I am wearing running tights for the first time btw - and I love them!  I don't look as bad as I thought and they feel great on.
Ladies you keep me going.

Keep moving no matter what!