Growing up I always felt like I had to 'do what I was told' or else. A lot of what I learned as a child in terms of relationship bonds and my place in the world is mirrored in my adult relationships. It's taken me many years to figure what my mirror is showing me both good and bad.
I'm guessing many woman (not all) have felt the pressure to conform to others expectations and at the same time not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or risk being seen as uncooperative. The price woman have paid over the decades has been insurmountable. I think of the mom on Leave It To Beaver, and how woman either bought into or felt that's what they should aspire to. Later on in television was the Mary Tyler Moore Show. The show was about a single woman in her thirties working at a TV station. In the show she was portrayed as a strong independent woman who knew more than those she worked with. Many decades since then more women are in the workplace than ever and more are showing up in high level positions (still low in comparison to men in high level positions). With the 'me too' movement and the passing of time things are changing for the better and yet there seems to still be this undertow of keeping things the way they were. Let's 'make America Great Again'?
After decades of many woman sacrificing their own needs to please others, we need to teach people how to set healthy boundaries for themselves in addition to teaching what healthy boundaries are. Healthy boundaries can be difficult to create and maintain if we are stuck in an old thought pattern. Being a mother, wife and community volunteer can both be fulfilling and sometimes equally as challenging. In the end I am the only one who truly knows how to take care of myself and it's ultimately up to me to grant myself the permission and say yes to myself.
Will you grant yourself the permission?
I'm guessing many woman (not all) have felt the pressure to conform to others expectations and at the same time not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or risk being seen as uncooperative. The price woman have paid over the decades has been insurmountable. I think of the mom on Leave It To Beaver, and how woman either bought into or felt that's what they should aspire to. Later on in television was the Mary Tyler Moore Show. The show was about a single woman in her thirties working at a TV station. In the show she was portrayed as a strong independent woman who knew more than those she worked with. Many decades since then more women are in the workplace than ever and more are showing up in high level positions (still low in comparison to men in high level positions). With the 'me too' movement and the passing of time things are changing for the better and yet there seems to still be this undertow of keeping things the way they were. Let's 'make America Great Again'?
After decades of many woman sacrificing their own needs to please others, we need to teach people how to set healthy boundaries for themselves in addition to teaching what healthy boundaries are. Healthy boundaries can be difficult to create and maintain if we are stuck in an old thought pattern. Being a mother, wife and community volunteer can both be fulfilling and sometimes equally as challenging. In the end I am the only one who truly knows how to take care of myself and it's ultimately up to me to grant myself the permission and say yes to myself.
Will you grant yourself the permission?
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